Sanada Dojo
by Cheesecake579
Summary: [Made by Demon Brat and shr0omx3] Sanada wants team unity. Oh God...YUKIMURA WHERE ARE YOU?


Enjoy! We're being cracky again :D

* * *

It was a nice morning in the Rikkai tennis courts. The birds were singing and Sanada was happy. Which made everything else happy. Right? 

"Everybody!" Sanada shouted. "Where is your 'team unity'?"

"..."

"I'm expecting an answer!"

"Fukubuchou..." Niou said walking up to Sanada. "I'm going to say this to you slowly...IT'S 5 IN THE MORNING!" he shouted.

"So? I always get up during this time."

"...But we're not you..." Kirihara said lying down on the grass with a towel over his face.

"..." Sanada took a deep breath. He shouldn't scream in the morning. He shouldn't..."AND YOU CALL YOURSELVES THE CHAMPIONS OF TENNIS?!?!?!?!" he bellowed.

A flock of birds flew from the trees. Lovely.

"...98 percent chance that they were all larks..." Renji said emotionlessly. Even more so then usual.

Yagyuu coughed slightly and Jackal twisted the racket in his hands.

"Fukubuchou..." Jackal said. "We don't mean it like that...we're just kind of gru-"

"MAHHHH!!!" and Sanada stomped off.

"..."

Renji and Yagyuu just stood there. Jackal was just staring. By now Marui, Kirihara, and Niou were all lying down with towels over their faces, snoring away.

Jackal sighed. He went over to Renji and Yagyuu.

"Hey...we should get back to practice..."

They two just stood there.

"Don't tell me..." Jackal rolled his eyes. And he walked off to the tennis courts.

Renji snored. And so did Yagyuu. How did they manage to sleep standing up?

Later that day, after a much refreshed nap on the school tennis grounds, everyone was surprised to find a note in their tennis bags. It only said:

_You are invited to the Sanada residence later this evening for 'team bonding'._

_Please don't be late. _

_7 o' clock sharp._

"5 dollars that fukubuchou's lost his mind." Niou called out.

Marui and Kirihara both slapped down 5 dollars.

"I didn't mean literally...but OKAY!" and Niou quickly took the money and shoved it into his pocket.

"Hey!" Give it back!" Marui and Kirihara jumped. But somehow Niou was just too tall for them. They started to jump like idiots.

"...So he's not angry at us?"

"49.83 percent chance."

Yagyuu picked up the note. "I think we should go anyways...just in case."

Everyone nodded. Even the idiots who were jumping for their money.

"Do we really have to wear this?" Kirihara whined, tugging at the yukata.

"Fukubuchou requested it." Jackal said. "And we should listen to him."

"Yeah well, he's not buchou! So we don't have to! Buchou's word is LAW!"

Jackal pretended that he didn't hear.

"Well, here we are." Renji said pointing at a traditional but very nice house.

"Fukubuchou was this rich?" Marui said.

Nobody had time to answer because someone answered the door.

"Hey! Fukubuchou!" Kirihara said patting the person's shoulder. "How come you never said you were rich?"

"Excuse me?"

"Don't you know us?" Kirihara said pointing at himself and the other regulars.

"What do you think your doing to my wife?"

Everybody turned.

"Huh?"

The person that Kirihara was patting earlier was well...Sanada's MOTHER. Boys always look like their mothers no?

"90 percent chance that Kirihara was talking to Sanada's mother."

Marui looked at her. She looked A LOT like Sanada only with longer hair...

"But she looks like a man!"

The regulars groaned doing a facepalm, Sanada's mother looked offended, along with her husband, and Sanada's grandparents who just happened to be there sighed.

"There's some aspirin in the bathroom dear." The grandmother replied.

Sanada's parents nodded and hurried to the bathroom.

"Genichirou should be here soon!" the grandfather replied. "To the living room!" and the old couple, despite their frail appearance somehow pushed all of them into the living room. Talk about being really strong.

Everyone sat down in the traditional living room.

Kirihara looked horrified. "That... that... that... was a woman?!" He cried.

"What world have I gone to?! I feel bad for Sanada's daughters..."

Marui started to laugh. "Yeah, his daughters would probably look like boys... statue boys... you know, the nose thing."

"He really needs to fix that nose..." Kirihara said.

The two laughed like crazy.

Sanada coughed.

"Hahahaha..." The two looked at their fukubuchou who was twitching like crazy with an angry aura. "Hahaha... ha... I get the feeling he wants to kill us, Marui-sempai..." Kirihara chuckled nervously.

"The two of you... run 20 laps around the dojo!" Sanada bellowed.

Marui and Akaya took off running.

"The rest of you," Sanada said, "I'd like to thank you for coming today."

"There was a 99 percent chance that you would kill us if we didn't." Yanagi

said.

"..."

There was an awkward silence. The only sounds you could hear was Niou snoring,

and he was snoring LOUD. VERY LOUD.

"You can tell why I never get enough sleep..." Yagyuu mumbled. He yawned.

"...ok... we didn't need to know that..." Jackal said. "Seriously."

It was ten minutes after Marui and Kirihara came back. The two fell on the ground with a thud and fell soundly asleep.

Sanada sighed. He kicked, yes, KICKED, the two awake. "No sleeping."

Kirihara woke up with drool dipping down the corner of his lips. "Mommy... it's too early for school... it's Sunday..."

Marui woke up shouting, "JIROH DON'T EAT THE PILLOW! IT'S NOT A MARSHMELLOW!"

He looked around. "Oh... wake me up when this is ove--...Zzz..."

Sanada walked away and came back later with a whistle.

"GAHH!" The two cried.

"Huh? Cheese sticks?" Niou said.

"ALL OF YOU WAKE UP!!!" Sanada shouted at the top of his lungs. "NOW ALL OF YOU FOLLOW ME!"

Everyone followed Sanada to the dojo.

"Eh? I thought we were swimming..." Niou said. He was already in his swim shorts. How he got them?... We DON'T know, do we?

"Why would he invite us to swim?" Akaya asked. "That's like... really

illogical."

"I should be saying that..." Renji grumbled.

"All of you line up right here." Sanada pointed.

Niou was already sleeping on the floor.

Sanada sighed once again. He was getting wrinkles... "Someone wake him up."

Marui kicked Niou in the stomache. Niou just grabbed on to the leg and hugged it saying, "Yagyuu..."

Yagyuu coughed.

"GET HIM OFF OF MY LEG!" Marui screamed.

"Yagyuu... you didn't have to scream..." Niou sleep talked.

Yagyuu coughed some more.

"EVERYONE GET IN LINE!" Sanada shouted.

Niou woke up with a jolt. He saw he was holding on to Marui's foot. "...WHY

THE HELL AM I HOLDING ON TO YOUR FOOT?!"

"LET GO OF MY LEG!"

Niou let go and got up. "I had this weird dream about Yagyuu..."

Yagyuu coughed. "Niou-kun, can we save this for next time?"

"...snore..."

"Niou acts like Akutagawa Jiroh from Hyoutei in the mornings..." Akaya said.

"Don't remind me of him." Marui said.

Suddenly Jiroh pounced Marui. Yes, he stalks Marui.

After a series of yelling, grabbing, and Sanada everyone got in line and Jiroh was tied up in a corner.

"Ahem," Sanada cleared his throat. "Let's start. Repeat after me."

"I WILL NOT LOSE!"Sanada bellowed.

"I WILL NOT LOSE!"

"I WILL DO MY BEST!"

"I WILL DO MY BEST!"

There was a pause.

"Fukubuchou..."

"Yes Kirihara?"

"What's the point of this?"

"It boosts our self-esteem."

"I don't feel mine rising." Niou said.

Bubblegum pop. "Mine either. I'm just getting a sore throat."

"..." Sanada twitched. How did Yukimura handle this?

Sanada put on a smile, It was his attempt at Yukimura's "I'm such a pretty boy worship me." Smile.

"Now, now..."

"..."

"I think he finally lost it..." Jackal said fearfully.

"46.8 percent chance that you're correct Jackal."

"Nevermind that!" Niou said "RUN!"

And the regulars ran for the door. Except Kirihara who unfortunately, tripped over Niou's foot. Kirihara tried to get up but he failed. Sanada was coming closer and closer...

"Now, now Kirihara. Don't you want to boost our team's unity?"

"NO!!!"

Therefore the next day, Kirihara came to school traumatized. And everyone else was laughing. Why? Because he was in a pirate costume that said "Let's Go Rikkai!" in bright yellow letters.

And then the day after that he was in a teddy bear costume.

Then the next day, a baby's outfit. Everybody called him 'Aka-chan' from that day on...

The moral of this story: Never fall when Sanada is trying to imitate Yukimura.


End file.
